eat the Whole Damn Bag....

Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have

 as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold.

Judith Oriney

I grew up living in a small town and I loved Halloween.  I couldn't wait.  Sometimes it would be too cold or rainy and we wouldn't get to go.  Sometimes we'd have store bought outfits and sometimes we'd (my sister and I) would dress in an assortment of things we found around the house, piece patched Halloween costumes that were often the best. My brother was always too small to tag along with us.  We'd get our plastic pumpkins and mama and daddy would take us to town to go from door to door.  It wasn't that we lived in the country...there just wasn't any houses to "trick or treat" and town...well town was actually less than a mile away but when your a kid waiting to rake in a booty--well a mile away is along way away.   Mama was one of those over protective mama's.   She'd walk along side us, tell us not to run ahead and heaven forbid if you ever tried to sneak a piece of candy before she did her detective candy sort where any item--no matter how much I loved it--any item with the least bit of unwrapping or crushing or tearing went into the trash---you never know what kind of people there are in the world---someone just might poison a child.  The greatest fear was the of course finding a razor blade inside--so all fruits and all homemade items immediately went into the trash.

I'd lay on my stomach on the hard wood floor and sort and plot what and how many I'd eat first...my favorite was the chocolate malted milk balls...I'd gobble them up.  After the sort, my sister and I would trade....laying out all the things we'd part with for something in each other's piles.  Mama and Daddy they always got the peanut butter logs, the Mary Jane's and the black licorice.

At our house, off color daughter always loved to collect her candy...but off color son...even when he was three and four was always more concerned with staying warm, the candy in the house and what the score on the football game might be.  

I remember one Halloween night when a friend and I were taking our children around the block....before we even had been to ten house, off color son begged me to take him home because the Cowboys were playing on TV....that was when he was five.

Big Daddy....he loves Halloween and I think he probably goes through a bit of grieving every holiday now that the kids are big.

They used to rake and rig and make the yard the spookiest in the neighborhood.  They would hang ghosts that would glide down a rope at just the right moment and have a way to make it happen over and over.  The graves in the yard would have the children of the neighborhoods names---I always expected some irate mother or father to appear at our door...but it never happened. The coolest was the hand buried beneath the leaves on the grave that jumped up to scare people just as they reached inside the pumpkin on the grave to get their candy.  Big Daddy would have fishing line attached to a shovel and at just the right moment...he'd yank it and scare the be-jebbers out of some poor pre-teen.  He would dress in his striped pajama's black jacket, paint his face, put in his jacked up teeth and suddenly Big Daddy would become beetle juice for a day.

Halloween really was one of the more sacred holidays at our house.

Now...off color children go their own way leaving me and Big Daddy to fight over who has to hand out the candy.  Big Daddy will be on his own tonight because I have plans and I did note that he didn't buy any delicious candy but kind of gross stuff...but that will be on him.  I hope he has fun and if nothing else has a moment of remembering all the fun we've had in the past.

Life is short.

Halloween's come but once a year...

Go on out,

buy your favorite candy

and 

sit under a blanket,

crack the window 

and

go ahead...

eat the whole damn bag.

Nobody will know...

and if you have to call in sick tomorrow...

oh well..

a bag of candy can make one sick.

Have a great night....

I hope your night is filled 

with 

a lot of treats...

and if you are lucky...

really lucky...

perhaps a few tricks.

Happy Halloween!!!

The radical rambler

Prayer for the Day...

The Light of God surrounds me.

The Love of God enfolds me. 

The Power of God protects me. 

The Presence of God watches over me. 

The Mind of God guides me. 

The Life of God flows through me. 

The Laws of God direct me. 

The Power of God abides within me. 

The Joy of God uplifts me. 

The Strength of God renews me. 

The Beauty of God inspires me. 

Wherever I am, God is!    

 James Dillet Freeman

When my children were small,

we'd pray a version of this prayer every night just before they (or I) was just about to doze off to sleep.   When I started working in the church, much to their dismay, I used and still use upon occasion a shortened version of this blessing. 

With the storm heading toward the east coast, financial security teetering and election fights continuing...

I thought perhaps on this cold Monday morning

instead of my usual ramblings,

I thought perhaps...

just perhaps...

a prayer for centering

might be more 

beneficial.

Have a wonderful day!!!

blessings.......

May the light of the Universe surround you!

The radical Rambler

STAND OUT!

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

Dr. Seuss

If I don't fit in

does it really mean

what I think it might mean?

WAS

I was born to stand out!!!

Surely not!

My introverted nature 

loves 

blending into the background so I can 

watch 

the human dance move and swirl and embrace in a weird kind of fashion

moving and jumping and crashing

playing just right to 

get what is needed or what is wanted.

I watch..

watch people touch

watch hands connect

see the invisible heart connections 

and all the while

I stand silently in awe of the wonder of the Universe

and

from what i see and experience 

it is a grand kind of place

that is so fully composed of Mystery ...

to even uncover a small quirky atomic piece of it

well

it is virtually impossible.

I have spent alot of time

studying the human dance

practicing the steps in my head

and

as I approach the grand age of 50

I am trying to change my venue....

not watching so much

not capturing the sights and sound and invisible connections I see

I want to move out

come away from the wall

laugh and joke and scream and feel

....

I don't think I was born to blend in

think I've tried for too long to make it happen

am beginning to take off the cover-up

and

allow it to happen

allow my true color or should I say true colors-

the clean and the off color one's 

to stand on out.

All I can say is this

Is the world ready for it?

update to follow....

have an incredible weekend

walk in the cool brisk air,

look at the hazy perspective of the sky as 

a storm approaches

listen to the crunch of leaves under your feet

and

relish the fact that

you and I are alive

for one more day,

one more minute 

one more second.

Go ahead

I'm trying to...

Let your True colors.....

stand on out.

Have a wonderful  Sunday...

blessings...

The Radical Rambler

the cusp of possibilty

“When was the last time you woke up and realized that today could be the best day of your life? Participate in your dreams today. There are unlimited opportunities available with this new day. Take action on those wonderful dreams you've had in your mind for so long. Remember, success is something you experience when you act accordingly. Success is not something you HAVE, it’s something you DO.”
― Steve Maraboli

The darkness of night blinds us

keeps us from seeing the possibility that lies

in front of us....

same old story 

rewritten day after day.

We wonder in the blackness

groping,

trying to find our way.

Some days we just sit

giving up

afraid to try 

seems we never get anywhere,

anyway.

Then 

something pulls usgrace

wraps around us

and

mercy enfolds us...

pulls us toward a new day 

we hesitate

but

IT 

says

I got this

don't be afraid.

...

time to BE

all you can BE...

and

suddenly

a sliver of LIGHT

breaks through on the edge of darkness

illuminating 

the dawn of a new day

the cusp of new possibility

and

suddenly

the story we are writing or thinking of writing

shifts

and

a new clear

white 

pristine page

awaits the writing of a new day

and

it all begins

with the dawn of possibility

when 

light meets darkness

faith meets fear,

love meets despair

and

wonder meets unimaginable 

and

I pick up the pencil

and

begin to write.

Create your own story

it is waiting to be written.

Happy Monday

The Radical Rambler

relaxing rain.........

The richness of the rain made me feel safe and protected; I have always considered the rain to be healing -- a blanket -- the comfort of a friend. Without at least some rain in any given day, or at least a cloud or two on the horizon, I feel overwhelmed by the information of sunlight and yearn for the vital, muffling gift of falling water.” 

                                                                    ― Douglas Coupland, Life After God

Friday's come like the rain,

parched soul craving a rest,

overworked, overwhelmed, overtired

turns to a relaxing 

get through the day foot in front of the next kind of day

as the 

soil of our soul

cracked 

from 

running and doing and seeing

and reading

and cleaning

and

working..

stops to rest for a bit

sip a bit of refreshment

as weekend 

 clouds 

open up

and

refreshing drops of raindrops

fall.

Friday has arrived....

May we each take some time

to relax, renew, rejuvenate

and

be.

Blessings on the Friday...

The radical rambler

Life is a Balancing Act....

--

To find the balance you want, this is what you must become. 

You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have 4 legs instead of 2. 

That way, you can stay in the world. 

But you must stop looking at the world through your head. 

You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Life is a balancing act and if I am honest with you--and I always try to be even if you don't want me to be---some days I'm not very good at it.  I'm a bit OCD--some days more than others.  I obsess about stuff--some important and some down right "stupid"---I don't like that word---but in this case it is "TRUE" as Honey boo boo would say!!! 

Over the years, I've caused my blood pressure to rise while I run on the hamster wheel trying to get from here to there and there to here

never really being sure where I was going but getting there as quickly as I could.  This came at the cost of important things--like having fun or seeing the sunset or walking barefoot in the freshly cut grass.....I was always too busy you see...getting there and I didn't even know where there was.  

I thought there came with success in the work place

climbing the ladder upward--always upward---steeper and steeper I climbed--but it didn't bring about more happiness--only more stress.

I spent lots of time getting smarter

so I'd read everything I could get my hands on and then some.

I went to school to become...

this or that or any number of things....

pushing myself to succeed 

to get one more degree

to prove my value based on the fact 

that I got an A,

passed a class,

wrote a great paper

and

while that is good stuff--

truth it...

it didn't help me find what I was looking for---but I still didn't know what that was.

I lost lots of playing time with my kids because I was busy making myself smarter--if I had it to do over and I don't---

I would have sat in the floor,

let them roll in the mud,

enjoy the joy of splashing in the rain....

but we can't go back

can we?

Today

I choose to not live with regrets

but

to keep myself 

a bit more centered.

I try to play and rest and laugh and jump--yes--they say a big girl can't jump and the off color kids beg me to do it so they can laugh--and I do--for two reasons--I love to hear them laugh--and----I am a good jumper whether anyone else believe so or not.

I sleep when I am tired

watch TV to unwind.

I run and walk and do sit ups...

but

I am learning

learning 

to balance

a little bit here and a little bit there

not 

an

all or nothing kind of mentality any more...

I'm learning 

the art of balance

one thing at at time

I find I enjoy life more

see more

get more

grow more

hell

maybe I'm just getting old more

but

as I learn 

the art of balance

I am learning to 

live

to be

to see the world

in a new way

to enjoy the sunset

to smell the aroma of flowers and

to let the rain fall on my head.

Life 

it is short

and

when I am able to balance

in a good kind of way....

then I am able to see the world

more fully through my heart

and

yes...

that is where I find God.

may you have a balanced Monday...

smile and hug and dance and breathe...

blessings

The radical rambler...

Spreading my wings....

"I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.”
― C. JoyBell C.

I stopped at a local walking trail yesterday hoping to catch some of the leaves that were turning colors and take photo's of those beginning to fall to the ground.  Most everything there was either still green or parched and brown--so not much in the realm of "leaf photography"--Big Daddy will be proud I'm sure because he does love my leaf photo's--NOT!!!!

So instead of being in awe of the fall palate, I walked around watching the small things like 

leaves blowing in air I couldn't see,

tiny bees gathering up nectar from flowers

moving around wings so fast

my eye could barely follow them,

tiny seeds beginning to fall from the middle of their pod

birds scooping them up.

And then I spotted this butterfly....

shifting and moving

I tried to follow it with my lens

and

it seems every time I focused and got just the shot I wanted...

it would be scampering around

moving from flower to weed to grass....

I waited 

followed it

and

took numerous photo's to no avail...

and

then finally

in a twinkling of an eye,

she sat there

sat there all still like

unafraid she was

and

she opened up her wings 

just long enough for me to see the colors on the part of her wings she kept together when she wasn't flying.

While kind of pale and translucent on the outside

a splendid breathtaking palate of yellows and black

covered her.

I have thought about that butterfly 

and wondered

how much we have in common.

We--us humans---we dart around

getting our stuff

being nosy

getting into others stuff

we move quickly

gather what we need and we're off again.

Few of us

ever sit still long enough

nor

are we brave enough

to 

open up our wings

and

let 

the world see

our 

"true color"

for fear of 

being laughed at or mocked or taunted.

This butterfly

she taught me

it is okay

to sit in a spot for awhile

to let the breeze hit me on the face

and

to trust

that 

sometimes

it is

okay

to spread our wings and just let the world see what is inside.

I don't really know where I'm going not sure I ever have or ever will know.

so 

for today

I'm gonna sit in the warmth and let the "Sunshine" on my wings.....

letting the world see .....

Have a Blessed Sunday Morning.....

The Radical Rambler............

Saturday morning reflection..........

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.”

St. Francis of Assisi

I used to sit here in the midst of trees and brick listening to the sound of water flowing through the fountain.  It became a great reflecting place for me when I studied in seminary.  It was right between the classroom and library and it was a great place to ponder on the Mystery of Life---I never quite uncovered it, but it sure was a great place to ponder it.

I spend way too much of my time pondering and not enough time living.  Everything becomes a question in my mind, almost like I was a lawyer looking at all angles and carefully selecting which thesis is going to be my focus all the while thinking of the argument from the other side.  I suppose that is part of the scientist in me.

The other day a friend of mine asked me, "When are you going to start smiling? You always have a serious look on your face."

It kind of startled me a bit, cause Big Daddy always says the same thing.  I don't mean to be all serious and stuff and let me tell you...on the inside...I smile an awful lot....and I'm very very thankful that I have a pretty thick filter in place--'cause some of the things Sexy Hot Mama thinks--should not be said.  They are way too funny and way too silly and could be way to sharp and honest.

But her questions coupled with Big Daddy's remarks, "Smile"

have made me think---yes think some more---.

Smiling does change the face

and 

I'm sure I'd be sexier hotter with a smile.

Truth is 

alot of days I don't feel like smiling.  The world is a heavy place.

The news is full of war and illness and craziness--I rarely watch it anymore because of the heaviness.  People are struggling to make ends meet and many people are just "mean boys and mean girls".  

And while I'm not sad on the inside, I do spend way too much of my time, seeking to "know".  Seeking to know "Why"...and "How"...and "What"..."What I can do to make it better."

and

then as I write..

I have it...

If I decide to spend more time living

than watching,

more time smiling than thinking

and

more time engaged in the dance of human life

than sitting to the side and enjoying other folks dance..

well

I guess I just need to spend more time participating than watching...

...

I do want to participate in life by 

sowing peace, love, faith, hope and light.

Sitting is a good thing

thinking is a good thing

Being is a good thing

and

realizing 

that every little movement in the world does not have to be

analyzed and all motives do not have to be understood

well

suppose that is the first step to understanding

what peace is all about.

I'm just thinking this morning..

thinking about living...

.....

I smile

cause here I sit

as big daddy is in the kitchen cooking

thinking and writing 

and

zoning on this 

lazy Saturday morning

still in my pj's---looking sexy hot I might add...

Lord make me an instrument...

help me to dance

and

sing

and

be

and

laugh out loud.

Help me sow 

love and light and joy.

Help me believe 

in the goodness of people

and

grant me Hope

and 

help me to smile...

smile so others can see YOU inside of me.

May it be so...

Amen.

so this Saturday

as I think...

I sign out..

to be..

Here is a big smile to you....(SMILE)

blessings..

the radical rambler...

drops from above

“I, too, seem to be a connoisseur of rain, but it does not fill me with joy;

 it allows me to steep myself in a solitude I nurse like a vice I've refused to vanquish.” 

― Julia Glass, Three Junes

Tiny drops of Love dew
falling from somewhere
up there
way up there
from I don't know where
falling like  baptismal midst 
over me 
but
yet
sprinkling over the world all at the same time.

It lands
clings onto things
seeps deep down into the thirsty ground
offers cool refreshment
and
yet 
at times comes in such waves
that crash and beat and disrupt
soaking everything in Its path.

It sneaks upon us humans
when we least expect at times
anointing us with
a touch from above.
Some days
we barely even notice IT...
hardly notice that cool drop hitting our head
don't even sense  IT's presence as it runs down 
the side of our face
and drips to the ground or some other surface that gets in the way.
but
yet
there are other times in our lives
when it comes
just in the nick of time
just when we think
we might get blown away with the next Spirit wind
because we've become so dry....
IT comes
mixing in the cracks of our parched soul
covering
quenching us if you will.

Still other times
IT 
comes
in stormy crashes 
washing over us
shaking us up
blowing us around
waking us from our spiritual desert
Resurrecting us if you.

Rain,
IT comes
Rain 
IT is

Spiritual drops
of
LOVE
reclaiming us
reconnecting
reviving us.

may the rain that comes
remind you
of Whose 
you are
and 
refresh 
you.

Happy Wednesday....

The Radical rambler

That Light in side....I don't think it is mine!

By the light of your stars, heal me.” 

― Joyce Rupp, The Star in My Heart: Experiencing Sophia, Inner Wisdom

I continue to be amazed

by the wonder of creation

colors all splashed

thrown together if you will

in an amazing wave of splendor unexplained.

I stand back

look at the intricate work of 

the Mystery

stand in awe

of 

the tiny details

my running too fast mind often misses

and

i see it

light from within

and

i wonder

does anyone ever see that light from me

I've worked so hard to hide it.

to build bricks around it,

have I built the fort so wide and deep

that

it can't get out?

I wear my mask

afraid others will laugh or mock or ignore

they protect me, cover the real me, keep me safe or so I tell myself that....

Today.

I wonder what might happen

if 

I did an experiment or two

and

allowed the world

to see

that

light

your LIGHT

shining through me...

would they laugh or mock or ignore

maybe

but

what will happen to me

if 

the light shines through

Healing

wonder

love

life

laughter

the wholeness of shalom?

that's what I'm hopin' for...

gonna try it

for a moment 

just for today...

let that light

that MYSTERIOUS light

Your light

shine on through...

That little light

that 

I pretend is mine

...

it's really not...

it's meant for the world...

now time to shine.

Happy Monday...

blessings..

Pam

Linus, Sally, Lucy and Me....Pumpkin Patch rambling

Linus: He'll come here because I have the most sincere pumpkin patch and he respects sincerity.

Sally Brown: Do you really think he will come?

Linus: Tonight the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch. He flies through the air and brings toys to all the children of the world.

Sally Brown: That's a good story.

Linus: You don't believe the story of the Great Pumpkin? I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting.

Sally Brown: Welcome to the 20th century!

it's the great pumpkin Charlie Brown

Fall has arrived.  

The leaves are swirling around, changing colors almost as quickly as the seconds tick.

The sound of leaves crunch under my shoes

and 

the cool wonder settles over the splash of color.

Pumpkins and apple cider

spicy bread baking in the oven

Ah...

I love fall and I love the Peanuts Classic

The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

Now I'm showing my age a bit, 

but 

I remember when cartoons were limited to Saturday morning and rarely came on during the week on the three channels we got on our TV whose reception came from this big antenna sticking up in the sky.

Popcorn and Coke

pulled up in front of the heating stove in our living room

my sister and i would eagerly sit and wait 

for 

the Great Pumpkin to appear......

I find people to be much like the dichotomy of Linus and Sally.

Siblings from the same blood line but yet 

as different and diverse 

as 

the opposites 

of 

hot and cold

light and dark

peace and joy.

I think I'm a mixture of both.

I want to believe in the wonder of 

a Mystery much akin to the Great pumpkin

and

find 

I've spent a many theological adventures

in the midst of 

the 

Great Pumpkin Patch

curled up

with my warm blanket

believing

...hoping..

to catch a glimmer

of the Mystical

"something"

and 

sometimes

in the midst of the dark night

just before the glimmer of dawn...

I believe I spot IT

feel IT

smell IT

touch IT...

and as 

quickly as I do

the wondering mind of Sally takes over

"good story" 

she says in her thinking by naive way----I hate to admit but I do have a bit of naivety inside of me----always think that there is something good about every story---want to believe but am just a bit skeptical

I'm probably more in the field of Lucy--the louder thinker with an opinion---

an 

edgy girl of sorts, a bit colorful if you will

who speaks her mind

too often then not...

The pumpkin patch called life is full of wonder

vines to crawl through

tiny baby pumpkins growing daily 

nourished by rain and sun

and

hope

hope that pulls forth the possibility of wonder

tiny little seed

incubated

watered 

tiny shoot popping out

and

then 

little baby ball of green

turning to yellow

growing

growing

becoming 

the 

Great Pumpkin

It is Mysterious

this life

we lead

how it works

...

I question

I wonder

I look

I wait much like Linus

in the midst of 

the beauty of the season.

The skeptic in me

often 

says...

"great story"

but

in my heart

Linus 

exists

and

I wait

...

wait for the "Great Pumpkin"

to come again

and 

replace my skeptical mind with wonder and awe

and

HOPE

...

hope 

that there is something beyond myself

Great pumpkin---wouldn't use that language

but

I wait...

curl up...

let that skeptic in me take hold and wrestle with the Linus like heart that is at the center of my being

and 

I hope

that in the midst of 

a wonderfully colorful 

cool season

....

The mysterious Spirit of Something bigger than myself

will settle

on

in

and

around me.

May it be so...

for me

and

for you...

Have a wonderful day......

The Radical Rambler