Come on out---Live!

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain

There, hidden amongst the sticks and brush,

 next to that dying leaf,

right there in the middle of the "off-beaten" path,

that's where you can find me,

slumped down,

dejected,

just trying to get through this thing called life,

one day at a time without anyone knowing the gifts that lie

underneath this thick abode

called my protective shell.

I really kind of like it...

a place to hunker down and hide,

inside I find myself all alone but yet out there in full view

 wrapped up

protected in my shell,

encased emotions,

hidden dreams,

unfelt hurt,

unsong song.

I have rested here for such a long time

hidden among the brillant colors

thinking i was unnoticable

and

not very news worthy.

Just an ordinary, regular being

no need to share!

Most people walk on by,

don't see the beauty of what lies underneath,

but I know it is there,

feel it bubbling against the thickness of the bricklike protective shell.  I  feel it moving, transforming,

about to be birthed fully.  It scares me a bit!

The sun shines on me,

I feel its warmth,

it invigorates me,

my heart starts to beat quicker,

I feel myself warming,

and

just for a second,

I think I hear myself say,

"Come on out"...

don't be afraid...

the world can take you...

come on

LIVE!!!!

and before I know it,

I stick my timid face

outside the hole

decide

to

try

it.

Living fully that is!

May each of us,

Move on out,

push on out,

come on out

and

Live !

Happy Tuesday!

and

hugs

to all of you!

why not try it today...

come on....

Live!

Sunday Skipping.....This is my rambling confession? a day late

"I want to know what sustains you from the inside,

 when all else falls away."

 -Oriah Mountain Dreamer

What does it mean when a person invested in the church decides she doesn't know if she really wants to go anymore?  In the past few weeks, I have turned down numerous opportunities to preach and the usual joy that comes when asks has not been there.  I have been trying to learn to balance my life in a better fashion.  I pay more attention to the way I pile my plate up....that is the analogy one of my dear spiritual directors told me one day when she ran into me after one of my long hiatus from seeing her....."I've been busy," I said.

She looked at me and simply said, "sounds like you have piled an awful lot on that plate of yours....it is up to you what you put on.  It sounds like it might even be overflowing."  I laughed and told her, "Well, I guess I'll just have to buy me a bigger plate."  She looked at me in her radical nun look at simply said with a smile, "dear Pam, you only get one plate in life.....what matters is how you balance and what you put on."  ouch....

For the longest time, I kept a hand painted plate on the edge of my desk in the church to remind me to have a balance....family, self, church, community.......I'm not sure I ever really learned to balance it well. 

Lately...I think it is more than that....more than just me being tired from being a wife, mom, supervisor, taxi cab driver and pizza delivery woman......oh and don't forget reluctant dog owner.

I'm beginning to think it has something to do with being true to what I feel. 

I have always loved the church.  It was where I first learned about the Power of the Universe and my delving into the Mystery of Life began.  But as I've worked in it and been around it and even been hurt by the political business like manner in which it is run....I've been wondering if there is really a place left inside the realm of the church world for this liberal radical minister woman.  I keep hoping and ever so often when I visit around, I'll run into a small community where people really do live into their faith and their community.

Let's just say...I'm discerning and have been discerning now for about five years.  The jury is still out on the church......

I could go into a long litany of why I am struggling but will save that for another day when I feel like divulging more of my personal story.

So here I am.....a person who has studied theology, wrestled with theology and tried to live my understanding of who God calls us to be as humans----God love me...and because of that my heart beats...which empowers me to love others in capacities I never imagined.

So yesterday, I was driving down the road and I realized...."It's Sunday and I didn't even think about going to church."  In a life that has been filled with communal worship, realizing that I can skip for a few weeks and not even miss it, tells me something about my own feelings for the understanding of church.

I tend to find what I choose to call God, 

walking out under trees,

looking at the palate of unique colors found in flowers,

digging my finger through the atoms of ancestors who have already gone as I plant and dig and garden,

I see and experience God in the eyes of people and when I examine their hands---they both tell me alot about who they are and what they do and how they live an move in the world--it tells me a bit about how they impact the world.

I hear God in the laughter of my children and the symphony of the birds in my backyard.

Brother Lawrence wrote a book called, "Practicing the Presence of God."  I've tried hard to embody what he writes about--which pretty much says, our life is our prayer and our presence and attention to it is important.

I don't have any excuses...

I'm just being honest...

Church doesn't hold the meaning for me it once did,

The World is a Wonderful Sanctuary...

where Community meets me day after day...

Barbara Brown Taylor wrote in her book, Leaving the Church,

"But it is the life that has turned out to be mine, and the central revelation in it for me -- that the call to serve God is first and last the call to be fully human -- seems important enough to witness to on paper."

and in her book, An Altar in the World, a geography of faith,

"Taylor reveals concrete ways to discover the sacred in the small things we do and see. Something as ordinary as hanging clothes on a clothesline becomes an act of devotion if we pay attention to what we are doing and take time to attend to the sights, smells, and sounds around us. Making eye contact with the cashier at the grocery store becomes a moment of true human connection. Allowing yourself to get lost leads to new discoveries. Under Taylor's expert guidance, we come to question conventional distinctions between the sacred and the secular, learning that no physical act is too earthbound or too humble to become a path to the divine. As we incorporate these practices into our daily lives, we begin to discover altars everywhere we go, in nearly everything we do."

Part of me must miss that connection to community,

the rooted love given and taken,

the conversation shared over coffee in the fellowship hall,

or else I wouldn't be compelled to justify my skipping...

but my truth for today is this,

I find God everywhere I go,

the world is full of divine moments much like Taylor reveals in her books--

I see them and experience the wonder of the Mystery everyday....

so what is the meat of this post....

Here goes...

"Dear God,

It's me...that crazy girl you created.  You know the one....kinda big girl getting littler, laughs alot,

loves words and nature and family.  She is the one who often sees the world different than others she meets.  Yeah...the one with the messed up hair and the one who lives with that damn Cecil dog and the "off color family".....oh you got me now.

I have a confession....I haven't gone to church and experienced YOU there in a very long time.  I do love to preach, and I do understand the wonder of your Good News...love yourself and neighbor...

but God, I'm having a hard time with this institution we call church.   I find myself not wanting to go...and I guess you already know I've skipped on numerous occasions when I'm not preaching because I bet you did see me walking on the treadmill or doing the stair stepper at the gym, but did you notice, i was listening to those sermons on my ipod.   Anyway...that's my confession...

this minister has been skipping church.....I know  you still love me and all.  Your world has become my sanctuary and I find you there.  So I've now made my public confession....now it's up to you....The End...or as they say in church...Amen."

So until I discover differently.....I just keep on doing what we've been doing....I'll watch for you, notice your bushes burning wherever they are and listen with my heart......the world is my sanctuary and humankind is my congregation...so for me..on this early Monday morning in the confines of my little backyard.....

I feel You in the breeze against my skin,

cool in the midst of an already steamy morning,

I hear you in the whistle and songs of the birds blending their voice,

I smell you in the sweet grass that was cut yesterday by the neighbor

and

I sense YOU in the core of my DNA.....

and

for me

that's as good as it gets and good enough because it is

YOUR MYSTERY that holds me up.

Blessings to all on this early Monday memorial day morning,

I didn't get to post yesterday..

Big Daddy and I put a tent up in the backyard....

more on an upcoming post about that....

Have a wonderful day...

and

HUGS

to all of you....





Miracles......

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle."Thich Hanh

What is a miracle?  We use the word all the time, but do we really stop to think about the meaning or the implication of what the word means?  The definition of miracle is:

mir·a·cle  /ˈmɪrəkəl/  [mir-uh-kuhl]  –noun

1. an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.

2. such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of god.

3. a wonder; marvel.

My name is Pam, and I am a recovering skeptic.  The scientist in me questions everything.  The theologian in me asks the question; "Is it coincidental or providential?" and "if it happened for them, why didn't it happen for those?"

At the root of my heart, I want to believe in miracles, but I do have trouble with anything I can't explain--it is part of my genetic make-up.

The Scripture of each religious institution teaches that miracles happen.  In my own tradition, the scripture says....

"Jesus walked on water, turned the water into wine, caused the blind to see, the lame to walk and even states he himself rose up from the dead."  Every time I read it or preach it, I have this internal moment where I say, "Really? How could that be?"

But then I remember that there are many things that I don't understand in our world today.  How do cell phones work or electrons move through my wall to cause my lights to work?  How does the wind blow?  So there are many things that are

"miracles" that I wrestle with because I don't understand them.

Do I believe in miracles?

Even in my wrestling and unknowing,

intuitively there is something in my

DNA that recognizes the MYSTERY OF THE DIVINE

brings us many offerings.  I am often too busy or too caught up in my own "junk" to recognize the sacred that meets the secular in every moment.
Miracles do happen...
I don't understand them or know how they work,
I say they come from God....
the energy of the Universe...
and
I am thankful for the wonder of life
and all the amazing aspects of what life encompasses.  Richard Crawshaw says:  “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” So for today...
in this moment...
this recovering skeptic will admit it and claim it....
miracles do happen every day...
in the love that flows to and from my husband and children,
in the seed opening up to shoot forth roots and leaves to the sky that will eventually provide food for the world,
in the water that I drink,
the rain that falls from the sky,
the grass under my feet,
in the bird's eggs waiting to hatch underneath my deck.
in the birth of a child and in the sound of laughter,
yeah....miracles happen...
Life itself is a miracle...
i just have trouble understanding and accepting...

My favorite line from the movie, Bruce Almighty comes from God speaking to Bruce in the coffee shop after Bruce parts the bowl of tomato soup.  God says, "Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle."

So as members of "they" the human race...

let's live into that...

let's use our power,

the authentic power inside us...

and

let's be the miracle....

or

do a miracle...

Blessings to all of you today...

take a moment,

look around

and

see the miracle you are and are living in

and

be thankful.

I am today!

hugs to all of you....

The "off-color" family goes to the Emergency Room"

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.” -   Buddha

Those of you who hit my site yesterday realize that it is unusual for me to not have a post at least by the evening.  Yesterday was quite the day.....

As I said in my last one, my throat had been sore for several days.  Yesterday was no different, only it hurt like hell.  I could barely swallow when I got up and spent the morning spitting in a Kleenex because I couldn't swallow.  I thought about calling into work because of it, but I hate to miss work and I knew my staff would already be short because of some others on sick leave.  So I went in.  It was a busy morning and by noon, I could hardly talk.  I got us to lunch and then I said, I'm leaving. 

I sent the kids a text and told them to get a ride home from school and I went to bed.

When the kids got home, I was much worse.  I was in intense pain and I felt as if

my throat might be closing up.  It was beginning to be hard to breath. 

Now being in health care, I'd do just about anything to not have to go to the ER.  So I found an urgent treatment center and went there. My daughter Madison asked if I wanted her to go with me and since I could barely talk, I took her up on the offer. The first thing the doctor said was, "if you are having difficulty swallowing, then you really need to go to the ER for observation." 

I rolled my eyes and said, "I really don't want to go sit in the ER.  I feel too bad."

She did another strep screen which was negative again.  She did a throat culture because she said I had a severe tonsil infection.  She treated me with an antibiotic and high dose steroids.  I was to pick the meds up, go home try to get soup down and take the steroids in a high dose.

We picked up the prescriptions after going to the wrong pharmacy twice and came home.

Madison heated me up some soup and since I couldn't swallow well, I decided to try to take one of the steroids first so that the swelling would start to go down.

I put it in my mouth and went to swallow knowing it would be painful.  By this time my throat was so swollen

the pill got caught in my throat.  It wouldn't come up and I felt like I couldn't breath. 

My daughter got scared and so did I.   I could feel the tears coming as I strained to breath.

I coughed and cleared my throat and finally the pill dissolved enough to go down.

I told Madison to call "Big Daddy" and she got my son Braham from his room to drive me.

To make the story shorter,

once at the ER, I was taken back immediately.  I was provided a suction to pull out the "spit" and

we waited.  The doctor came in....

"you want the good news or the bad news"

I said give it to me...

Good news....it is not an abscess which would involve ENT.

Bad news...you have a severe infection in your tonsil.

We are going to give you some meds and try to get the swelling down

so you can swallow and get liquids down.

By this time, "Big Daddy" has arrived and he and Braham are in the room.

The kids are telling Big Daddy what has happened

and did some pretty funny imitations of me trying to give directions to the ER.

Madison said, "you should have seen the clerk when she tried to tell them her name.....am...we...millllwaa..

I had to interpret for them."

finally, the nurse arrived and I got two big shots in my sexy hot butt...

She also brought in liquid perocet.....

the kids and Big Daddy start laughing because I have a very low tolerance to medicines...

Braham said,  "this is gonna be funny."

I finally got the syringe of medicine down my throat after coming to tears trying to swallow.

Then I started feeling better and the kids kept watching and started taking video.

I found myself laughing too...don't know why and at one point I looked over at my daughter

and said, "Jesus Christ is in the house...." (this is from a video of a girl that was shown on the Ellen show).

She and Braham laughed so hard they cried.

Finally Big Daddy sent them home and waited with me which meant so much because

Big Daddy does not handle hospitals well.

We picked up my medicines and today, I feel like I've been run over by a Mac Truck but I can swallow much better and the percocet they gave me deadens the pain---"it's pretty good stuff."

So for today, I called into work and will tomorrow if I am not better.  Step one in self care!

and I am

thankful to be alive,

for family who loves me,

and

for medicine that makes us feel better

and Big Daddy who has taken really good care of me.

My lesson:  "pay attention to my own care"

I'm just as important as anyone else. I just tend to forget it until

stuff like this.

Take some time to look at the world,

take in the flowers,

feel the rain on your face.

It's a great day to be alive...

and

I don't know about you, but I'm thankful I am.

Happy Tuesday and Hugs to all of you!

Lazy Days and Mondays.....

You can't be friends with a squirrel! A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit.”

Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City

I was sitting out on my deck yesterday morning---

having worship if you will--

sometimes for me...

a Sunday Morning on the deck

with a hot steaming cup of coffee and the sounds of the Universe

are the best sanctuary in the whole world.

As a first born overachiever...

I tend to have problems with

sitting back and taking it easy.

My mind runs about five thousand miles fast

and unless I am very intentional with my meditation...

it is very hard to stay centered.

As I was sitting there, staring into the trees just being present,

this guy came up,

laid down right in front of me and stared for a few minutes....

next thing I new he was snoozing away.

I thought about how lazy he was....

how he ought to be...doing something...

and I realized...

the same thing I think about a little squirrel enjoying a day

resting and sunning is

what I feel about people....who rest, or take a break or enjoy doing nothing...

I think they are lazy,

unmotivated,

no ambition.....

I watched him awhile...

and now that it's Monday,

I find myself thinking about him....

I've been feeling sick all weekend...

pushed myself on Saturday to pretend my throat did not hurt,

rested a bit on Sunday,

but went to the gym and did several miles and burned several hundred calories on the treadmill...

went to work

today

even though I could barely swallow---

sat at my desk and actually spit in a Kleenex...

now I have paid sick time--lots of it...

and I sat there spitting in a Kleenex---looking back there is something very wrong with that picture.

I did have a strep screen done down the hall and it appears that i have a virus...

I came home,

went to the gym...omg...I went to the gym even though I could not swallow--how sick am I.

and

now as I begin to think about being lazy...and

I realize,

I might learn a bit from my furry friend....

It is okay to slow down,

to enjoy the view,

but I want to do it better and faster and first...

I want to cram everything in,

to have a cherry on top kind of day

--- every day...

to live,

and laugh and dance and sing....

but for today and maybe tomorrow...

I'm gonna take a Lazy Monday evening day...

going to bed early,

going to pamper myself..

and I'll be damned if I let this over achieving first born girl

spoil it for me....do you ever fight with yourself.

Lazy Day Monday reflections

on Sundays gone past

can sometimes

open our eyes,

and

teach an old dog a new trick....

perhaps.....my friend...the lazy squirrel

has taught me that

enjoying the view..sometimes means you

just lay and stare and breath and sun....and do absolutely NOTHING! imagine that!!!

Have a Lazy Reflective Monday Evening....

you never know what you will learn about yourself....

Happy Monday...and Hugs to all of you.

The Cusp of a New Day

~ They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it?

 - - Carpe - - hear it? - -

 Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.~  John Keating (Dead Poets Society)

                                                                                                

The darkness of the night begins to settle

and just when it feels as if

i will never see the light dawn,

over the horizon,

behind the hill,

a break in the palate

a sliver of hope flashes forth.

It is the cusp of a new morning,

the dark black night begins to fade,

morning is breaking and

life begins to whistle and coo and buzz

It is the cusp of a new day

and

I have the choice to make.

Shall I seize it?

Shall I take this opportunity to push

my feet once again into the soil that

has been fertilized with hope and joy and grace.

I wiggle my toes, feel the ghost of days gone by

buried amongst my roots,

and

I push down with all my weight

trusting that my legs will support my heaviness...

and

I decide

to look into the light

and

  to risk jumping on the cusp

of a new day....

 I pull the life-force up through my veins,

I stand

see the darkness fade

and

I wave my hands in joy

at the cusp of a new day..

Carpe Diem!

Hugs and Happy Sunday to all of you!

"Lucy and Ethel try to take a walk"

You let her go, or I'm gonna splatter your ugly face all over this nice car.    From Thelma & Louise, 1991

It was a pretty uneventful Saturday.  I planted my raised bed garden and moved a few of my herbs to a new bed.  Other than that, the only real productive thing I did was drive the ghetto van with three boys and a lawn mower to a house and drop them off and then pick them up---I don't know how I became the driver in their lawn care business that they created two days ago.  At least they are attempting to earn some of their own money, so I'm trying to be supportive.  After taking a shower this afternoon, Madi and I planned a five mile walk for the evening.   The weather here was absolutely gorgeous.  After my shower, I took a quick nap and then Madi got me up to go for our walk....famous last words.

We decided she would take the Devil Dog around the block for a stroll because we were not sure that he could make the long walk.  I took Hershey and Chocolate out back in the fence while she walked Cecil.

The labs and I had just got back in the house when Madi and Cecil came through the door.

Cecil ran upstairs and Madi yelled, "Are you Ready Mom?"

She came in and went to her room for a moment, leaving the child (dog) gate at the top of the stairs open and the front door cracked.  Before I could even get up, I heard the stomping of twelve paws on the stairs.  I jump up and say, "Hurry Madi."  By the time we had gone out the door, all the dogs were running across the street after a German Shepherd on a lease with his owner.  I get to them and grab Hershey by the collar, mumbling, "I'm so sorry."   Meanwhile, Cecil is running in circles around Madison almost daring her to catch him.  Chocolate is running to the fence with two dogs.  As he sees me coming, he turns and starts running down the street full speed.  The devil dog sees him and decides it is a race.  I hand Hershey to Madi and tell her to take him in and come back with leases and I was off, big girl in a tie dyed t-shirt running after a devil dog and a crazy acting black lab mix.   What a site!!!!

About half a block down, Cecil spots a house with its garage door open and shoots inside jumping on a dog and a dog's family.   They grab him.  I thank them and try to yell for Chocolate, who is darting across the street stopping traffic and me darting after him carrying a large overweight devil dog.

Madi is now coming down the street and Chocolate doesn't see her.  Snag....she grabs him and puts a leash on him and waits until I'm there.  She hands me Cecil's leash and I quickly drop him and clip it on.

We start home....when Chocolate decides he is going to run with all his might----getting Madison all caught up in Cecil's leash--she then falls really hard with Chocolate dragging her on her knee.  We quickly trade off leashes and I wrap his leash around my wrist and he starts running again.  I try to keep up with him....panting...and heading toward the house.  Madison and Cecil follow behind.  Madison is limping and Cecil breaks free with his leash following behind.

They all run up the stairs, run to the water dish and plop down on the linoleum all tired out.

Whew!

Madison comes up the stairs limping.

We look at each other and laugh hysterically.

Madison looks at me and says, "My knee hurts....(see pic above).  I don't think I want to go for a walk now."  I laugh and say me neither.

I then said, "but I just changed the batteries in my camera and loaded up a new memory card."

She laughed.  I said, "let me take a pic of your knee. I'm gonna write about how

Lucy and Ethel tried to take a walk."

We are sitting on the couch watching an episode of Ellen.

Well at least I got my garden planted today!

Happy Saturday!

and

Hugs to you!

Looking for a great read that inspires you.

Check out Melinda and her year of hugs at

http://myyearofhugs.com

She inspires me every day to think of the world differently.  Go over and have a read and

then give someone a hug.

Cecil: " Devil Dog from the Gates of Hell"

Cecil:  The Devil Dog

I'm warning you, I'm seriously stressed out here!
-Stanley Ipkiss from the movie:  The Mask

It is a really long story....

the story of how Cecil came to live with us,

but

to make it short--I'll condense it down.

We've always had a dog.

Before Cecil, we had two chocolate lab mixes that we

got out of "foster care", brothers who were in two different homes,

Hershey and Chocolate.  They are great dogs, well trained and well behaved. They are wonderful pets.

 A Christmas or two ago, my daughter Madison started begging for her very own little small dog.  (It was about the time Paris Hilton was carrying around all those Chihuahua puppies in those glittery puppy carriers).   I held my ground and continued to say, firmly

NO!!!!

Seems that worked for awhile, but then she went to visit my parents.  While she was there, she would call me every day and tell me about the puppies that grandmother and grandfather were going to buy her.  Now, I know you don't know my parents...but it really wouldn't matter if I said, No.  If she acted pitiful or dramatic...they would get her the dog and suffer the consequences so that

they would be remembered as the "good grandparents".  So while she was visiting, I get a call from her all excited saying that

grandfather had bought her a dwarf goat....OMG!!! plus a few other explicit words I'll leave to your imagination.  We live in the city.

Our yard is big but not that big.  I could just imagine the police coming because our goat had escaped and eaten someone's house or car tires or something.

I wasn't sure they were telling the truth or making it up.  She then started bargining with us.  Grandfather said I can keep it here, if you let me get a dog of my very own.  She even sent me a picture of a little brown goat taken with her cell phone.

So I half-heartedly promised a dog when she got home.....

So she gets home without the goat that belonged to the neighbor

and the whining and begging began...

please mom...you promised!

we start searching the humane society web sites...

then one day we think we've found the dog...

a cute little white dog with wiry hair and a sad face.

She goes to visit a friend and while she is away, big daddy thinking that the dog was coming to live with us, buys it a little pink dress and lays it on her bed.

I leave the house and while I'm driving down the road, I get an excited call from Madi..."Mom, where's the dog?"  "Is it a surprise?"

"I found the dress."

"Poop!-I think to myself."

I feel bad.  We check to see if the dog is available and she already has found her owner.  So Hannahtard--Madi's friend and Madison

talk me into going to "just visit" the Humane society...

famous last words.   We check the web site to see what is available and find a tiny little puppy that was so cute named Petunia.

We decide to adopt her and so we head to the shelter.

Much to our disappointment, Petunia had just been adopted...the owners were right in front of us.  She was cute, brown, tiny and oh so sweet.  We decide to look around....famous last words again...

by the time I found Madi and Hannahtard, Madison was sitting on the gross floor of the shelter and this little white and brown spotted weinerdog/jack russell mix is laying in her arms, licking all over her.

"Mom this is it..look he loves me....this is the one I want."

He wasn't really cute and then I see the sign on his cage...

"Max  dashound/jack russel mix-I remember that big daddy said no jack russells.)   I read on....

"suggest obedience training"

I looked around and was really concerned...no other cage had that message.  I say..."well maybe...let's look around."

She left his cage and "max" started jumping and begging and barking.   I tried to get her to get another one.  I made her walk and play with several others...but no she had her heart set on "Max--the dog who needs obedience training."

We get him.  He was a "return".  They didn't know why...but we do suggest that you take Max to obedience training."

So that is the story of how we came to be the proud owner of

Cecil (formally Max).

So now...

I have white dog hair everywhere at the Dog Haven Hotel...it mixes with the black from the other dogs quite well--we go through a vacuum about every six months or so.

He escapes from the fence---you think you have it fixed and he somehow manages to squeeze under and go on an adventure down the street...usually at five in the morning--he gets us up at four every morning.  He seems to have not "sprung ahead" when the time changed.  He barks anytime you don't give him the attention he wants or needs (I have a problem with needy things) and he sits on his butt and waves his paws at you...

we always tease him and

say he is saying,

Please, Please, Please.....

He chews up the rugs,

Eats his own poop,

barks at the dog who lives next door everytime it is out,

digs in the garden,

jumps on the furniture...

and

is very attatched to Big Daddy...he sits in his lap almost all the time...

I do not let him in my lap--that is probably why he bothers me all the time.

He brings his toys to me when I blog

and if I refuse to acknowledge him, he puts his head under my hand and pushes it away from the keyboard.

He really is pretty smart

but

smart is not

enough to make

up for the fact

that

he is a devil dog who beats up the labs,

eats everyone's food

and

poops under Madi's bed.

So moral of this long tale is this:

If your daughter asks for a dog......

you'd better say no!!!!

you could end up with a devil dog named Cecil

who came from the gates of Hell!

happy friday

and

hugs to all of you

we made it to the weekend.

Please, Please, Please

don't believe a word she said!!!

GROWING PAINS

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come."

FROM THE TV SHOW: "THE WONDER YEARS"

We stand at the doorway to the entrace

caught between here and there

The past holds us back

The future pulls us forward

and

we have a choice

either stay the same

and hope

everything else does too--stays the same that is...

or

stick out

that shaking foot,

head up the staircase and

fall full face

into the view

as a new horizon

hidden behind the corner

rises to meet us.

The choice is ours...

Should we stay or should we go?

I choose to not be afraid...

come on...

what are we waiting for....

There's a world waiting for us.

Let's go.

Growing pains suck!

I watch my teens struggle daily...

and

every day I am thankful for every door

that I've been fortunate enough to walk through,

I am happy for

the sunsets that I've been privy to view on the horizon

and thankful

for the times when I saw only darkness...

and would mysteriously be captured inside a kalidoscope,

twirling and mixing,

 caught in a rainbow,

smothered with the colors of Joy

and feel my soul be renewed with a palate of hope.

Yep...growing up sucks...

but the choice is ours to make....

Do we stay here?

or

do we get out of the funk

and proceed into our future

yeah, that one

it  is

just up the steps,

just around the corner.

May we all have the courage

to enjoy our adventure

called LIFE..

and walk through

the doorways of the future

and live fully in the present.

growing pains suck....

I'll admit that but oh so.so.

worth it.

happy thursday

and

hugs to all of you.