The Sun Rises against the Darkness of LIfe..

― “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. 
That’s what this storm’s all about.” 

Haruki Murakami

Photo taken on the beach the morning of reflection

I sat on the beach watching the sun rise up and shine through the darkness.

Waves were crashing on the beach and the wind was blowing through my hair.

I looked into the wonder of the universe--feeling very connected but very small-all at the same time.

I love to watch the sky---love how the sun peaks up over the darkness of time--and how the tiniest light--just a tiny ray can illuminate even the darkest sky.  

It reminds me of hope--hope that even in the darkest of worlds where humanity seems to be at war with each other and Mother Earth seems to be fed the hell up with all of us-hope that the sun will come up again.

I don't know about all us people--running around--ignoring each other as we stare into our little hand held entertainment device and believe me--i'm just as guilty of that as the next person.

I don't know when we seemed to stop caring for each other.

Leaders in tweeting wars-saying horrific things that that fill the universe with division and
segregation, fill our world with more hate than love, fill our world  with fear instead of promoting courage.
I don't know about all of us--becoming so desensitized to mass killings and hurt-we tune in to commercials because of the pain involved with looking who we are becoming is too much to take in--
better to be happy greeting card commercial than to examine the complexity of
real life that provokes men and women to kill each other in large quantities for apparently no real reason. 

I'll probably never understand what leads people down the road to destruction.
But
I am a living witness
to the fact
that somehow I made it though a few really severe storms
filled with
darkness and sadness and despair.
I've fallen to me knees
breath knocked out of me
begging that something bigger than myself
would take me out of the severe pain I was living in-
but it did not happen--I had to live through it.

Storms raged
winds blew
my heart
broke and crumbled into millions of tiny little pieces
and while I'm glued together
my heart will never be the same
ever again.
But somehow
someway
during the darkest night of my soul,
that which is greater than myself
picked me up
pulled me up
lifted me up and
carried me
when I could not rise on my on.

I sat on that little beach
with God's wind blowing
waves crashing
and
I realized
that
in my own life
during the bleakest of time
The wind of the HOLY
continued to lift me up
in ways I cannot explain.

I don't know how I got to the other side of
fear and hurt and darkness or if I really am...
I don't know how I ever began to smile again
I don't know when my laugh began to rise from my broken heart again
but it has
and
JOY resides in me--much to my surprise!

I'm not the same
will never be the same
after wading through all this darkness
but I'm here...
here and feeling the sun against my face
and
I am most thankful for a moment
of reflection.
...
Survival

....................