What kind of shoes do you live in?

"A PAIR OF SHOES CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE"

-CINDERELLA-

For too long in my life, I think I've settled on the shoes other people pick out for me. 

I've worn those bought by other people and tried to live up to their image.

I've worried people won't like what I'm wearing or will judge me because they don't like my shoes.

I've fretted for God only knows too much of my life about how my parents will feel about me in my shoes, about what my husband thinks, about whether I'd embarrass my children, or even about whether someone would see my shoes and comment..

and never ever picked out a pair for myself....

Shoes---they can change our life.

When I first went to seminary, the struggles of having been raised as a women in a faith tradition that didn't allow women to speak from behind a pulpit were very intense. During my first homiletics class, the day before I was to preach my first sermon, I thought I would die internally.  I kept telling myself "I can't".

I went to Dr. LP Jones and said, "I simply can't do this".   

He smiled and said, "I understand the voices in your head.  They are old tapes, it is time for you to step into the shoes God has for you and cast the proverbial demons from your past to another place."

I went out and bought a pair of simple black shoes that I called my "preaching shoes".

And the next day, 

I stepped into them with shaking feet.

I drove myself to the seminary 

and yes I was trembling

but 

I marched myself up to the pulpit,

laid my written manuscript on the pulpit 

and 

I preached--was it pretty---questionable

did I stop shaking the whole time

probably not

but

the shoes made all the difference because I had bought them for myself.

That should have been my lesson but it wasn't enough

I continue to find myself 

wearing the shoes other people choose for me

calm and comfortable

that 

keep everything a bit flat.

Maybe

just

maybe

i need to take a lesson once again from LP jones about life...

step into the shoes I'm called to

....

funny thing is

now when I preach

I always preach and lead worship in sock feet

it is sacred ground for me because I don't get to do it often

and

i honor those moments by keeping myself grounded with feet on the floor.

Tomorrow

I am running a half-marathon--well I'm going to do everything in my power to

finish the half-marathon---and once I check that off my bucket list, 

I will never run again--those running shoes will have served their purpose.

and

for

Today

...

today

I remind myself

that life is too short

to short change the shoes 

I 

choose to wear.

I'm worth it.

i need to stop caring what other people think about my shoes and about my own uniqueness...

have a good day 

and

buy yourself a pair of shoes...

your worth it too.

The radical rambler....