Goodwills, scaly feet and Sacred Ground.....

“If I were in [his] presence, I would wash [his ]feet.” 

― Hercules

Sketch done by off color daughter at panera bread one day while she was skipping school--fabulous don't you think....it speaks of the sacredness and connection we have with the world. 2013 MM

Okay--so I'll confess--I haven't blogged in a good long while.  My life has been very crazy and I've found that in my writing-there is a transparency about myself--a truthfulness that erupts from the depth of my soul.  So if I am honest with myself and then with the world--I'll confess that I didn't want to share

all the mixed up emotions that I had going on inside of me on paper

---and whether I wanted to share--well it would have happened--the emotion would have pushed forth and emerged on the paper in the midst of whatever story I was tryin' to birth.   

So--here I am---willing to bare it again--I suppose sometimes the human spirit needs to just ball up and fight with itself

wrestle, stomp, scream and cry---

and that is where I've been

in a smack-down match with parts of myself...

and I won eventually and have a few bruises to show for it!!!

Fast forward to the present......

I had just spent the week in the hospital with my mother, who'd had a heart attack coming out of the bathroom at walmart--now that is another story for another day---a scare and a stent later--she is on the road to recovery.  Following my week in the hospital with her, I returned home to Big Daddy and Off Color Daughter.  Since my last Blog Post, "off-color son" has moved out into a swinging bachelor pad with three other buddies.

I was exhausted and spent much of the first day in bed getting caught up on lost rest---and it was my sexy hot 51st birthday--and yes i'll say it for you---Damn--I just get sexier, hotter--all the time!!!  

The day following this, I awoke with a headache, vomiting and other things that shall not be named--after a doctors visit-it was proclaimed that I had the flu.  Damn!!!  Another week of sickness---I spent the entire week, laid up in bed doing nothing more than sleeping---and that for sure ain't the thing anybody as sexy hot as me wants to be doing in the bed!!!!

The next Saturday--I'm finally feeling semi-normal and I go for my beautification treatment where my beautification specialist gives me my 

sexy hot short haircut.  

I have a few minutes to spare and decide to swing into the gas station for a cold iced fountain Diet Pepsi and then decide I'd swing into the local goodwill to scour for eclectic finds (I did find a cool thermos from the 70's and a little Japanese cup and saucer set).

I'm doing my Goodwill Scan--walking up and down the aisles of the store--looking sexy hot from my new hair cut and trying to be inconspicuous because 

who wants to be seen at the Goodwill--right?

I'm about to finish my rounding track and am just getting ready to head to the cash register and I get stuck in a line of people with baskets full of "shit".  

I take a detour and head around the back of the store because I'm feeling all goodwill claustrophobic---just as I round past the furniture in the back, a grandmother in her roundish gray hair cute kind of way, looked at me and said, 

"Can you help me?"
She is sitting, so I think she wants me to perhaps help her out of the rocker she is sitting in----

I smile and simply say, "Sure, I'll be Glad to help!!!"

FAMOUS LAST WORDS!!!
She looks at me and simply say--

"these shoes I'm wearing are burning up my feet"

--I looked

and she had zip up plastic looking blue tennis shoes on --they looked like they were made out of those rubber things that crocs are made from....

She proceeds to say--
"I'm gonna donate them 'cause I don't like them--can you help me put my socks on and she pulls out a pair of diabetic black men's socks from her grandmama pocketbook"

I feel myself think in my head---

"Oh no---not feet---" as she proceeds to say, "Can you help me put these socks on?"

I smile underneath thinking, "what the hell"

and

then I tell myself in my head---one day--you just might be a sexy hot grandma sitting in the goodwill and you might need a little help....so I stoop down trying not to cringe.

I do not like feet--my feet or anybody's feet.

Toenails gross me out....

feet-well they serve us well and I do appreciate the way they carry us from here to there 

and for the way

they grant me access into Holy connections with both the Earth and the Creator---

but touching someones feet--someone I don't know............oh..I don't know about this i say in my head....

I feel myself giving myself the pep talk and I kneel down at her feet.

Ms. Goodwill Grandmama's feet are not in good shape.  She has some of those thick yellow nails on her Big toes,

Her feet--I swear need about a gallon of lotion and I can feel my OCD kicking in as her skin starts to flake as I pull on the socks over her swollen feet.

As I am kneeling---kneeling in the aisle at Goodwill,

I begin to reflect upon the biblical stories I'd been told over the years

and wondered how 

they might be woven into this Goodwill tale....

I began to feel the connection to God,

to the world

to humanity if you will

and by the time I 

started to try and pull on the second sock---

I feel myself 

feeling compassion for the woman who asked me for help.....

Will I wash another's feet--not without an internal argument or feeling myself sweat up after I'd said yes.....

but

for 

this day

I am thankful

thankful for a moment of 

Holy connection

for burning bush

scaly feet

big toenail

moments

that 

caused me

to remember

that 

both 

I 

and

the woman

are children of the same creator

and

thus---

putting on socks

of a woman with ugly feet

in the middle of Goodwill where I was trying to play 

incognito...

well

the 

Goodwill Floor 

became 

Holy Ground for me

sacred if you will

and for a brief moment

i felt as if

I too should be taking off my shoes

for the presence of "That Which IS"

walked by and brushed right up against me

while I was kneeling.....

so for this day--

I will proclaim my gratitude 

for

a moment 

of 

with the Goodwill Grandmama where

I was changed.

....

May we all

become willing to say

Yes-

when we are asked for help

and

allow

the Holy

to somehow 

meet us with our biggest 

repulsions

to change us

forever..

May it be so...

May it be so...

so good to be with you again...

be a great day...

"the radical rambler"