BAH! HUMBUG!

YOU STINK!

 YOU SMELL LIKE BEEF AND CHEESE!

YOU DON'T SMELL LIKE SANTA.

WILL FERRELL IN THE MOVIE:  ELF

I continue to feel like Scrooge!

Has Christmas lost it's meaning!

I search.

Dig Deep inside to try and understand what and why I'm feeling this way.

I don't want to admit it.

Don't want to say it aloud....

but

during this season

we church boned people celebrate one of our high holy days,

and I'm feeling

the

have no church blues.

I miss the pegs that turned my liturgical wheel...

I miss watering the Christmas poinsettias in the sanctuary,

miss dressing tiny boys and girls in

their sheep and shepherd outfits.

I miss off key Christmas carols sung too early in the season

with vigor way too zealously.

OK...dammit....I'll say it.

I miss that which has always been a part of me

and

I wonder...

wonder if I'll ever find that piece again.

I feel as if the Grinch from off the proverbial

high holy office has

stolen my seasonal spirit, even eyed my Christmas feast

and took my Who pudding along with  

the gifts and the tree.

I miss it..

miss my life and rhythm in the church,

miss Christmas homilies,

and

excited children,

miss the handmade gifts

and

future yard sale treasures...

yes the church Grinch

has come and robbed me

of my
Christmas Spirit.

Is it too late to find it?

i put up the tree,

big daddy decorated the stairway,

the lights flash

some of the presents are bought and not wrapped

and

I think....

and

I wonder
 really....really....

don't feel it...

not this year anyway...

heart covered in sadness

that I've glossed over,

tears still left to cry...
surly not more....

and

i wonder...

shepherd met in the midst of their smelly sheep,

wisemen and women guided by the star...

angel who visits...

all led to a place

a holy place

tiny manger setting,

no room in the inn....

I wait...
look at the sky....
search for the star
that will lead me...
to the
place
where ordinary meets holy
where my heart can grow
two sizes bigger....
I'm waiting..
I'm tired of the bah humbug bluer than blue Christmas Spirit.

Can I find it?

find the meaning of Christmas?

I hope you are finding better luck than me.....

maybe tomorrow I'll have a better update.....keep your finger crossed....

hugs to you
and
holiday blessings....
to each of you...