It is a Mystery....Life that is!

Life if a mystery,

everyone must stand alone,

I hear you call my name,

and it feels like home.

Madonna Like a Prayer

Life,

don't understand it,

can't quite fathom it,

but yet,

i continue to live it.

seconds, minutes, hours, days,

months, years,

the seasons turn,

and

I go right along with it, blowing with the wind,

falling and rising and breathing...

a mystery it is.

I've noticed,

that even in the midst of the moving

I've developed a way to disconnect from it all

by covering myself in a  protective shield,

some might think that that is a great thing,

to be enfolded by something...

but not when that something

is

tiny flecks of ice crystals,

formed by pricks and wounds and imperfections,

I think in my crazy mind

that if I allow those pricks, those wounds, those imperfection

to

turn into crystals,

frozen in time

to cover me...

then nobody

and

nothing will ever hurt me again...

it is the lie I've told myself,

that if I hang out,

look the part,

and

allow myself to become

frozen in time,

then...

then..

i will survive,

nobody and nothing can or will hurt me.

I've discovered

over time

that

all the freezing does is keep me

at bay,

out of the mystery of life,

engulfed in a frozen lake of emotions unfelt....

Life,

the mystery it is,

calls to me,

It says my name and

even in my protective frozen state...

I hear her

call....

call me by name,

and

all for me

to allow a melt

to Live....

I hear her voice,

feel her pull,

and

just like the song,

it does feel like home....

I've started the slow melt,

I feel the sizzle like a piece of ice

lying on a warm stove,

I'm melting,

melting from my frozen state

and

finally beginning to feel

and

live....and love

for the first time.....

and

the mystery,

life...

well it is good!

have a happy Monday

blessings

and hugs