How off-color can an off-color Christmas be....? part one

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Frank McKinney Hubbard

off color daughter two years ago

it took all the snow in the front yard to create this mulleted snowman...

don't you love her selection of warm clothes?

For all you faithful readers, you should be a bit familiar with how crazy the off-color family can be.  Well, the holidays are no different than our normal life.  You never know what someone will wear, what they will say, what kind of skit they will do or what kind of gift one might get.

At Big Daddy's family, every year, all the family members put together some sort of Christmas skit.  Mama D of the off color family is the matriarch and her four children try very hard to out do the skits each year.  Some years, some of the children and their families try to maintain some sort of

sacred skit to provide the real meaning of Christmas---this is usually his brother and his wife or his older sister and her clan (husband, son and whoever he is dating at the time).  His sister closest in age and her family try very hard to out do us....but they don't usually succeed....Mama D sometimes joins in with their two children in the skits--becoming Big mama rapper or hoochie cooch grandma (mama d off color is 80 this weekend).  Each year, we stretch the edges of getting too...something....but we do have alot of fun.

Let's see how off-color can we get?

In the beginning of the off color family...

way back about 16 years ago,

it began with off color son and off color daughter,

When the kids were little....

Big Daddy was a stay home dad and once I put an end to him watching Maurie Povitch and Jerry Springer with the children,

he started making up off color songs for the off color children to sing.....

such as

"Who put the "ninkie" (the off color name for a boys body part) on the snowman..."

"who put the ninkie on the snowman

and embarrassed the family,

could have used a baseball bat, broom handle or a limb from a nearby tree,

instead he used a toothpick

to make him look like me." 

or

"jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg

Mister freeze cut the cheese and joker got away....

Hey!" (sung to JINGLE BELLS)

this was when the kids were two and three..

his family of origin would gasp...

which was obviously the wrong thing to do.....

because

once Big Daddy gets some attention...

well

what followed in the upcoming years

only got worse...."

I bet you can't wait to hear all about it.

Stay tuned for more unfolding

off color Christmas stories...

I promise you..

they only get better...

and

just to get you all excited...

here is a picture of one of Big Daddy's

off color Christmas photos for his family--it was the front of his Christmas Card to each of his siblings----

this is the swim suit he wore

to the pool at the family vacation to embarrass them...you can find that post somewhere previously)

warning..

it might be too much for you...

so proceed with caution.....

never know what will happen with Big Daddy!!!

His caption on the card said,

"kiss me under the mistletoe"

his family was embarrassed and so was I...

I kind of think it is funny now...

but

I don't want Big Daddy to know--so have a good laugh on me and

get ready for upcoming

off color family Christmas tales.....

Blessings

and

happiness.