Am I the Grinch?

That's what it's all about, isn't it?

 That's what it's always been about. 

 Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts.

 You wanna know what happens to your gifts?

They all come to me.

In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your *garbage*.

 I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump.

And the avarice... 
The avarice never ends! I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue." Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this *whole* Christmas season is  stupid, stupid, stupid! 

The Grinch, the movie

I might be the Grinch this year...

I'm not sure

 but I get a sense that either I'm getting Christmas for the first time...

or

else..

I've turned into the proverbial Grinch of the off-color family.

I haven't put up the tree,

the only present I've bought is what off color daughter ordered herself,

no Christmas lights up,

no mistletoe..

no

nada..

nothing.

It is not that I don't think

the holiday time is important..

rituals are important...

but all this crazy useless buying,

running into overcrowded shopping malls,

traffic lined up,

wasted time and energy and money....

it is crazy...

bah...humbug...

there are more important things...

I watch the news,

so many families struggling,

I drive by a local parking lot and homeless people are lined up

to get a free bag lunch, cup of hot coffee and soup,

foreclosures looming for many,

jobless rates increasingly high...

disparity.

Some of us have...

have lots

and more than we need..

and others

struggle for the basics...

It is not fair...

and

I wish I could fix it....

fix the wounds and hurts and disparity,

meanwhile

I look at the headlights coming out of the mall,

I stand in line watching people buy

sugar, cakes, cookies,

hams

more than they need.....

I look at the excessive obesity...

the fast food places are all

on

"supersize"...

and

really most people with anything..

are

just greedy....

more more more...

that is what they want.

I may be a Grinch...

but the problem is

not that my heart is too small

not even two sizes...

my heart

it feels deeply...

senses too much...

cries for those without...

breaks...

I may appear to be a Grinch...

I just don't like the greed I see...

i see it all as the attempts at filling a deep void

with materialistic crap that doesn't mean

anything....everybody seems to think that the special gift will

be the answer to the hole they feel inside...

"it ain't true" said the off color grinch....

May we all...

have our hearts grow

two sizes this year...

and

celebrate the holidays

with love,

fill the world with hope,

and

offer grace to all we meet.

blessings to you on this cold Sunday evening...

don't be the Grinch....

just be....