cracked.....

“Maybe its like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And then things happen - these people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack in places. And I mean, yeah once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable. Once it starts to rain inside the Osprey, it will never be remodeled. But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And its only that time that we see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each other face to face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade, but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out.”― John Green, Paper Towns

Cracked...

feeling all split open

exposed

vulnerable.

I don't know why...

or perhaps...

don't want to admit why...not out loud for the world to hear

even though it is easy to see

I'm

Cracked.

For years I was insulated,

covered by extra layers,

protective cushioning

that kept my heart from breaking open,

and

suddenly

one day

in a split second

I felt lonely

and

started to

shed the protective coats,

started to shed

that stuff that kept me at bay

and

when I did,

it happened...

there was light,

I felt...really felt..

and

a tiny prick

in my walled up walls,

things began to crumble

piece by piece

and

I

broke open

exposing

 me

for who I really was--sexy hot and all--

no further need to be perfect

or smarter or richer..

Me...

cracked me...

that was enough, is enough, will be enough.

Cracked,

splattered,

split wide open

guts all exposed...

I glanced out

light flowed in

our eyes met...

cracked up folks

staring into each others "realness"

 seeing

feeling

knowing

for the first time.

Cracked---just enough---to finally live.

happy tuesday

hugs