How do you Measure Your Life?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love.Seasons of love. Seasons of love

FROM THE SOUNDTRACK "RENT"  SEASONS OF LOVE

So how do you measure your life....

in years,

months,

weeks,

days,

hours

minutes

seconds????

For years,  the pegs that I grabbed hold of to measure mine was the liturgical seasons of the church.  Now that I'm on hiatus from that place for a bit,

I find myself alittle lost--out of sorts it seems.

For the most part, I seem to try and live in the present anymore,

perhaps it has something to do with my age.

I seem to have spent a good portion of my life all

caught up in that climbing the ladder,

seeking success,

trying to be better,

smarter,

more intelligent, more driven than anyone else.

Basically, what that got me was a day filled with

stress,

panic,

no time to breath or rest or just be...

I realize looking back

that all that time I spent

getting the best grade,

giving my best self to my career,

doing everything else but be present to my family that I love the most really didn't fulfil me at all.

My children were 2 and 3 years old when I started seminary.

I feel like I spent a good deal of their fun growing days

with my face in a book,

my hands on a computer,

or

my person taking care of someone in the church  instead of  the people I love the most.

Those days left me

spiritually unkempt,

emotionally burned out,

and

physically exhausted.

I am in a different place today....a good place.

I've learned after reflection, discernment and contemplation coupled with good mentors and wise women,

to

take life one day at a time ( a good 12 step program taught me that)

sometimes I even am able to take it one minute or one second at a time....

My goal is to live into the moment,

to watch the steam coming off my coffee and to

sense the energy of the person sitting across from me,

to listen and laugh and learn

and hug and love my husband and

to acknowledge my children and listen really listen

to what they have to say---most often they teach me something about the world,

or worse--something about myself!!!!

My husband's heart attack a year or so ago,

reframed my whole life.

My family is now the center of my universe...

and

my attention to the things I often missed

like the smell of grass

and the sound of rain on the window

and the touch of the breeze on my face--

those moments...are what matters the most to me.

Perhaps it has something to do with

the Season of our life...

maybe we grow into this awareness as we age,

and

we become less driven to step on or over the person in front of us and more filled with

a sense of connection and community and care.

For Today,

I strive very hard

to stay

present in the moment,

to look at people in their eyes

and to utter

continuous prayers to the Universe

for the

wonder in and around this awesome thing we call life.

Today, I took my daughter to have her wisdom teeth removed...

in days past, I would have

probably asked someone else to go and be with her and stay with her...

but

I'm so glad I didn't miss out...

Her friends Hannahtard and Norman (Noah)

came along.

Oh my---I can't remember when I've laughed so hard,

When they wheeled her to the car in a wheelchair,

she was so loopy,

so out of it...

and

the things she said.....

We all laughed and laughed and laughed.

I laughed so hard I was afraid I would wreck or worse

pee my pants.

Anesthesia did a "whooper of  a job" and when Norman

gets the video of our car ride downloaded I hope to

place an except of her ride home

on the blog.

OMG--I can't even watch it without becoming hysterical.

The seasons of love seem to get richer,

and

my heart

well my heart tonight is full...

full of compassion and love for my girl who is also sitting on the couch writing

God only knows what on her blog (she is under the influence of a narcotic right now and when

I was out of the room she skyped a video of herself talking to herself)

She is so funny I can hardly stand it..

I am just thankful to day,

my heart overflows with gratitude,

for

my home,

my family,

and

my little piece of community in the Bluegrass state.

So how do you measure your life?

In sunsets,

In midnight,

in hot cups of coffee....

whatever it is....

May you Season be filled

with Love,

Laughter,

Joy and Contentment......

Sending Hugs and a Happy Thursday to you all!!!

Tomorrow is Friday!!!!