OFF COLOR Driving (Life) Lessons......

 “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was THE key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life” 

~ John Lennon

It has been awhile since we've had an off color update, but it is about time I do believe--I'm sure you've missed them.  I am able to include this in my blog because off color daughter--my Siamese twin has given me permission.  Off Color daughter has been dragging her feet when it comes to getting her drivers license....She is nervous about driving.  Finally as a year with her permit is approaching, she decided or we helped her decide it was time to go get a license---basically I told her that my sexy hot taxi cab was closing down for drop off at yoga, zumba and friend pickup....

She knew I wasn't telling the truth, but it did make me feel like I might be trying to give her a push. 

Finally last week she decided that she'd go give it a try.  Now let me just say, after having birthed two children within 12 months of each other, I must say I am continually amazed at how two people who are derived from the same two genetic gene pools can out wired so differently.  Off color son who is more quiet and introverted took his permit the first day and if I remember correctly was caught driving a time or two before getting his license--it sucks when your parents have done a thing or two (Big Daddy always knows when they are trying to pull something--I hate to admit it but I'm the gullible one in the family---they can really pull stuff over on me).  

When he started driving, he was cocky.  He was the best driver in the world and nobody--not even me could convince him that he didn't know everything.  He seems to have started driving one handed and sometimes blindfolded--seems nothing bothered him.

He was always ready to drive alone or to some place and often it was me trying to hold him back.

Now off color daughter---she is like a spider monkey---clinging to us--not wanting to drive herself.  We've pulled her off and finally we made an appointment.

Big Daddy took her last Monday....bless her little heart....

now I don't know if you'll recall but this 

brilliant kid had trouble passing the permit test---

she was over thinking it....I told her she'd have to pretend to be dumb to pass and we chose one of her "not so intellectual friends" and had her pretend to be her for the next taking.  Here is an example of what she asked me after the permit test...

"They asked about a small motor vehicle on the road.....what do they mean?  Are they talking about a Prius or a moped or a lawnmower...I don't know what the hell a small motor vehicle means."  I'll never forget when she called me at work and said, "guess who got their permit today?"  

I said, "you".

She said, "nope, the girl in front of me!"

Well Monday I get a call after she and Big Daddy went to take the test.  It was storming and pouring rain and the phone rang.  "Well I didn't pass the test."  I simply said, 'oh well--we will practice this week and you can do it again next week."  

She had videotaped her test and she let me listen to part of it.

You can hear the rain hitting the windshield and the rhythmic swiping of the wiper blades.  I hear the instructor saying, "Now don't be anxious, we're not in a hurry just drive safe" and lots of silence broken by rain and wipers.  

She fast forwards to the end and I hear him saying, "You have the techniques down but you are trying too hard.  You are gripping the wheel too tight and pushing it.  You just need to practice a bit more and try it again."  

Big Daddy said, "He (the policeman) said she is just too anxious and needs some more practice.  You'll understand when you see how she parked in the parking lot."

Big Daddy said when he went to get the car, it was parked right in the center of two parking spaces, center line down the middle"...seems off color daughter does things as she likes and doesn't like living in the lines of life--she gets that honest as well.

so off color daughter will take her test again on Monday--world if you have some place to be---do it Sunday!!! 

I think if she thinks about it...she may have learned some life lessons from not passing that test...

1.  you can't aways get what you want.....you can try sometimes..(Big Daddy and I used to sing this to the kids all the time)

and it is true....sometimes life is filled with disappointments and the failures and the true measure of your character is not what you do in the moments of disappointment--it is what you might do 

in the next day when you still have to get out of bed and walk another day.....and the world sees your disappointment or you tears or your really bad crying face.

2.  Life gets stormy and confusing sometimes and anxiety can and does over take us-------breathe----it all will pass eventually and it is never as bad as you imagine in your head....

so what--- you get to practice again and soon you'll be driving alone---you will miss my good conversations and my excellent singing with dance moves!!!  you'll see!  True!

3. If you don't get something right, there are very few times that along the way you don't get a chance to try again.  Listen to those around you and take in their words of wisdom.  Loosen up as the instructor said....go with the flow....relax.  Just drive.

So dear off color daughter

I know you'll be driving soon...

relax

and

while I know it bothered you..

just an itty bitty little bit

I was proud of the way you have just kept walking--not driving--but walking.

Stop

relax

loosen up...

just drive and yeah and don't forget to turn you wheels when you park on the hill and learn where that emergency brake is located.

You'll be smiling when they take your picture...

what I really want you to know is this---it isn't the driving lesson that is most important---it is the life lessons you learn from it---

and by the way

failing your driving test the first time must be in the genetic pool---

I know another sexy hot thing that failed her driving test as well---but we won't mention my name.

as always and forever

I love you dear Siamese twin!

in the end---Happy is what I want for you!

The off color Siamese twins after running the 5K Color me Rad!!!!!

that is dye from the color bombs on our teeth and clothes!

Have a wonderful Friday...

blessings...

the radical rambler

BTW:  BIG DADDY IS TURNING 50...TUESDAY!!!

SO I'M SURE THERE WILL BE MORE OFF COLOR STORIES TO FOLLOW