“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human- in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.”
― C. Joy Bell
― C. Joy Bell
Off-color daughter was in the emergency room this weekend. She seems to be passing a kidney stone that we've known she has.
I feel helpless when my children hurt. I want to band-aid their scrape or wound. I want to immediately apply a healing balm so that they are free from pain.
no human is free from it.
It comes in waves
that rise from the oceanic tides,
splashing in angry bellows,
then rolling out leaving foam and shells and other debris behind.
in the same tension
It just seems we notice the pain more,
feel it deeper and more intensely.
for one moment,
to really experience the wonder of life,
in the same manner I feel my pain.
Perhaps if I'd train myself to
do just that,
stay present in all the moments,
I'd learn to feel it all on a deeper experiential realm.
When we were in the ER, I felt a rage,
wanting my child to come first.
I could feel the tension of the staff
moving in tiny frantic waves,
trying to care on a personal level for each child.
They did a really good job at doing so,
I felt my selfish,
take care of my little corner of the world,
territorial mama lion
come out in me.
Most often I was controlled,
but I didn't want to be.
I listened as babies cried
in painful sobs
I watched a child and her frantic parents be wheeled on a stretcher with paramedics attending her oxygen level and still I wanted mine taken care of first.
Interesting how sitting in a different chair,
a different view
teach me something about myself.
I am empathetic to an unhealthy level,
I feel others pain,
sense their shift in vibrational energy
most often I'm tuned into the world.
my precious baby---
the world ceased
I could feel my frantic pace
for relief to come.
are a mystery
filled with our
whose colors and flavors change
as quickly as the tide changes.
Off Color daughter is feeling some better
as I sit here in my comfortable but dusty home,
of all the mom's and dad's out there
for help for their own pain
I send a prayer into the Universe--
for calmer tides
the dark circles of worry
underneath the mom's eyes
who watches her Ethiopian children
sees their stomach swell from starvation,
I feel the tremble of mom's and dad's who
stand at their child's bedside
waiting for the tide to
bring them a miracle from somewhere unknown.
I can feel the emptiness and brokenness
of the parents who
search for their missing children
dark night of the soul
covers the entirety of those parents
standing at a casket,
mourning for moments they will never have
pray for the whole human race
offer up my energy
on this morning
hope for whoever might need it
this Sabbath morning.
so if you do,
hold out your hands to the Universe and expect
what you need.
May all of you feel
the energy I have sent forth
may it bring each of you
exactly what you need.
Blessings and Love to you,
The Radical Rambler
from the South!