Love is a smoke made with the fumes of sighs;
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears;
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
A choking gall, and a preserving sweet.(Romeo and Juliet, 1.1.191-5)
Any of you who ever read this blog,
know that Big Daddy is this sexy hot mama's one and true love.
Yesterday was valentines day and I have reflected of how my idea of love has changed over the years of knowing Big Daddy.
We met in a convenient store. Mr. Loud Microphone Man he was---working there as he finished graduate school across the street from where I worked. I used to stop in there to get
a diet Pepsi before I worked with my student where I volunteered at an on site work place Operation Read where we taught adult employees who were illeterate--to read.
He really wasn't my type at all, all clean cut and loud in his pressed pants, tie and wing tips.
He was flirty--not so much with and me, but everyone and it was not
uncommon for him to be singing and chanting in the microphone connected to the gas pumps.
There was something about him from the moment I met him--a mystical connection of sort--
I knew without a doubt that something great and bigger than myself had led me to him and him to me. I couldn't explain it--it was not so much physical attraction, though he was cute---there was a spiritual attraction and a mental attraction. I fell in love with him almost the moment I met him.
He asked me to marry him,
valentines day 1993. We had been dating for almost a year and could barely spend a moment apart.
We were and are as different as night and day but
I don't know that I've ever or ever will experience love any deeper than what I've found with Big Daddy.
Life has not always been easy for us.
We've had to work hard to build and maintain what we have---it is like a treasure---we hold it close but know how devastating it might be if we lost each other.
In the beginning,
his intellect drew me into conversations,
he wrote and quoted poetry,
we watched movies and I pretended to like football,
because of our own half-time show.
Over the years,
all twenty of them we've spent together,
our comfort level has changed and so has our level of love and respect.
I am a better woman for having spent my life with him.
He has helped me learn to laugh,
given me the courage to work through tough issues,
he's held my back up when I felt like laying down
he's put up with crankiness, moodiness, silliness and much more
for more years than most ever would..
We both have our faults,
in spite of or because of them
our love grows deeper every day.
He is still my best friend,
the person I know is always in my corner,
He makes me laugh--even when I try not to---
will always be my prince in shining armor riding on the white horse
to rescue me---sexy hotness in all my glory.
We laughed last night,
as I fell asleep right after work
about our age,
our rescheduling of valentines day until the weekend
and about how love flips into something so much deeper than
I am here to tell you--all of you----
anything worth having is worth working at..
it's worth talking about and digging your heels into the pavement
staying--is often the harder thing to commit too....
it means work and discussion and talking and giving---both sides have to do it---in order for it to work.
Smokin' hot love doesn't fade,
it just sizzles a bit differently as we age.
So a day late...
here we go Big Daddy
what can I say
I will love you----always and forever.
You are my best friend,
my own comedian of sorts.
You make my life interesting,
you inspire me to be a better me.
Smokin' hot love doesn't fade with time,
it gets hotter,
and more precious.
Thank you Big daddy for choosing me---
I'd still choose you
19 years later.
Happy Valentines Day!!!!!
Always and forever..........
your sexy hot mama!