Living with a heart that hurts............

Sometimes my heart hurts so much, I beat it with my fists. I try to run. But you cannot run from this. It waits for you. Even when you think you have escaped it, it is there.

klaus kinski

Pain...

it is everywhere....

I try to hide my heart from it,

try to run from it,

but

I have found that the

best thing to do with

the

pain of a heart that hurts

is

to stare it in the face

and

accept that

the pain is part of the living.

if we have no pain,

there is no tension between

wonderful and no good very bad days,

just

flat lining...

going through the motions,

but

not engaged or connected.

Today,

my heart hurts

because of the

pain

I see in the eyes of others,

They have

broken hearts,

broken bodies,

broken souls so dried up and parched

that

it give rise to the

appearance

that with

one

good wind---well

one good wind 

might just

cause

the entire heart

to crumble up into

tiny molecules and atoms

and

be

cast off into

some distant future

to

create other things.

The pain resonates inside me,

i feel theirs as deeply as i feel my own...

it vibrates and pounds

and

pierces

my

soul.

I feel the tears form,

but

yet

the well continues to grow deeper

and

pool

 in that secret stagnant place

way down deep

in the bottom niche of my heart home.

I really don't want a share of theirs,

but

when I

peer into their eyes,

feel the agony

of their pooled tears,

hear the crackle in the voice,

my...

I can't help it,

it sends the arrow piercing

into the center,

opens me up,

and their stuff

enters

into

my world.

I'm okay

with

holding a bit of their pain

for awhile,

for a few minutes,

a few hours,

a day or so,

until they get over the edge,

then I give it back...

let them hold it.

it takes alot of energy,

but

it's part of my calling,

to stand

in

calm silent presence

to

bear it up

to the

Mystery of the Universe....

it's a heavy business

these connections of the heart....

 heavy

and at times

hard to hold

but

rich and wonderful

all

wound up together in a concoction called human life.

I don't like pain anymore

than anyone else...

it is part of living

and

part of all of us

in the global and local world.

Wars, floods, storms

people are hungry,

there are wounds of

abuse,

abandonment,

enmeshment,

it is agonizing at times,

this

thing

that

makes us human,

plays on our heart strings

a

song of sadness and grief,

it's hard to listen to...

but

mixed in with

the notes

is

a healing balm

that

eases the sting

until

it is offered up

to

the Mystery of the Universe....

My heart hurts this morning....

it just does.....

so

I hold it in

and

await

its majestic release into the freedom of the Universe

where

it

dissolves....dissipates....disseminates

and

mixes with goodness and love

to energize our world.

If your heart hurts today....

acknowledge it

say good morning to it

and

stare it in the face....

you just might be surprised what you learn about yourself

from it.

be a blessings

and

hugs.