baptized in sacred love.....

All the answers you may wish for lie within faith, but it demands a complete and incontinent surrender, an immersion as total as any baptism. Indeed baptism is a kind of enactment of the surrender: you bathe in faith, you swim in it, you live by it, surrounded by it, buoyed up by it, engulfed by it. You drown in it, for at times it takes your breath away as entirely as any lungful of water.... All the answers lie in faith; and when you lose your faith you have no choice but to substitute for if a philosophy that deliberately and coldly offers no answers at all.

SIMON MAWER, The Gospel of Judas

the lights dimmed

and

music began to play...

"holy holy holy" 

was being sung by a woman in the background

I'm sure there were 4000 eyes on us...

on my son 

and

on me...

the moment

the very

the moment

my feet  touched the water

I could feel my tears 

begin to well

slide from the depths of my soul and

drip down the edges of my face

....

The Sacred

moves in 

she/he/it

comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes and fashions...

is blown through the world in 

all kinds of ways

but

on 

this night

thoughts flew through my mind at the speed of light

quickly and deeply jumping..and she/he/it grabbed me

in a way I can't quite describe.

I thought

about 

birth

and

death

and 

resurrection power

and 

life

....

the water was warm

it swirled

I could smell the faint smell of chlorine as I stepped

deeper and deeper into the baptismal 

pool 

of 

the church where off color son had been attending...

I was surprised when he asked me

honored if you will...

and

so

into the water

just plain old water

drawn into a pool 

much like most of us 

draw for our bath or use for swimming in a pool

or

akin to the water that drops off the edge of our umbrellas on a stormy day

...

but

yet..

in the subtle

space

of my mind

of my spirit

something

rushed over me...

moved me

opened me up

and

I stood

hands on my son

God's son

and

looked into his eyes....

and

I was lost

lost in love

lost in sacred

lost in God if you will...

I thought of

how he floated in a watery pool inside my womb,

how he struggled 

to enter the world

in much the way 

I've watched him struggle 

over the past few months

to find his way...

water 

it swirled

moved over

 around both of us

flowed 

flowed

from the space

somewhere and someplace 

that began at the genesis of time

and

flowed

flowed over rock

and

mountain 

into stream and lake and pond and ocean

rose

up

rained down

flowed over ancestors

over 

grandparents

parents

over 

me

and

now

over 

him--off color son----

I don't know what i said

couldn't tell you the words I uttered to him

because the sacred took over

and

love

...

love

moved 

over me

over

him

over us

.....

I held his back

touched his heart

and

back 

i took him

into the warmth of

the watery pool

and

just as quickly

I pulled him up

up 

into the heavens 

from out of the sacred pool

love

love

it swirled

moved

grabbed hold

held on

and

I felt a wet shirt pull me close

as 

off color son's arms

wrapped around me...

and

we stood

in the midst of water and darkness and light and music and love

in the midst of something so sacred I can't explain it.

Baptism

washing away sins

buried in the watery grave

new life?

....

i don't quite understand all of it...

just know it was important to him...

what I 

do understand

is 

love

love that flows

out into the atmosphere grabs hold

washes over us

claims us

helps us forgive our self

saves us if you will

...

love 

it 

leads us back 

to rebirth

time and time again...

and

for this

I am thankful...

thankful for off color son

for the contentment I see in his face

for a conservative church who will let an 

edgy liberal woman minister 

step into the baptismal waters

and

for 

life

...

for the way it ebbs and flows and moves...

and for the way

sacredness

sneaks upon us

and

captures us

takes us away

if you will

to 

a place we can't describe

....Indeed baptism is a kind of enactment of the surrender: you bathe in faith, you swim in it, you live by it, surrounded by it, buoyed up by it, engulfed by it. You drown in it, for at times it takes your breath away as entirely as any lungful of water..

I suppose the writer of this quote had it right...

it is an act of surrender

and

what I realize

is

I

i don't give in to the surrender very often...

I fight it

wrestle with it

wear myself out

....

but 

finally

 in moments 

I least expect

I find myself

standing

in the midst 

of warm re birthing water

on sacred ground

and

love...

love comes

and

takes over...

for this

I am thankful...

thankful for off color son who

has found his way

thankful

for

sacred water

for life

and

most of all

for love....

Have a happy Saturday...

may you too

stand for a moment

and 

feel the sacredness

move over you

as you stand on the beach 

in the tub

or in the rain....

love..

love from the genesis

will wash over you 

and

restore your soul.

blessings..

the radical rambler