effort=transformation=change

“It's not about perfect.
It's about effort.
 And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens.
That's how change occurs"
― Jillian Michaels


I am a recovering first born over achiever.
I have been driven...
driven to be the best...
make the best grade...
do the best project...
climb the career ladder....be the first...
aiming for the "perfect" goal only to find that it leads to another.
The easier softer way has never been
my easier softer way...
working hard...
giving it everything I had...
often at the cost of the things most important to me...
well
I say I am
  recovering
because
all the swimming upstream
against the current all the damn time
has most often left me emotionally drained,
physically tired
and
spiritually bankrupt...
exhausted
and
unable to enjoy the journey.

but
even old sexy hot mama's can
try to learn a new thing
do things a new way...
put a trick or two back in the sack...change if you will

I discern--yes--that really means to sit and listen to my own intuition about where and what and to I devote my energy
or where
i need to give my efforts...
I try to balance my plate...
I once told my spiritual director that
"my plate was so full---i needed an additional one to balance it all out" --- my wild and crazy catholic nun director simply said,
Oh dear Pam...you only get one plate....
and so for the longest time
when I worked in the church,
I kept a plate sitting on my desk
to remind me
that my drive
my need to be perfect
my inability to let others be disappointed
often left very little room
for those I held dear,
for my own development
or my own sanity.

I'm better than I was...not healed...but better
I've discovered that I am satisfied
to put forth my effort at being the best me I can be on any given day....even when my best effort on one day is not what it may be on a different day
and what I've discovered along the way
is that when I relax
give into the journey
sit on the inner tube occasionally and float down the river instead of constantly swimming up...
well
the ebb of the journey and the gentle splash of waves along the way
provide an avenue for me
to rest,
to examine
and
ultimately
to transform.

transformation
leads
to change

which for me looks just like this...
giving my time and energy to the workplace,
coming home and not feeling like I have to run to the gym,
eat a meal cooked and prepared by big daddy
and
sitting out on the deck,
sun on my skin,
breeze in my hair
listening to the sounds of dogs barking in the distance
and birds
beckoning a lover through song.
and
for
me
for
This recovering over achiever...
that is a change worth celebrating.

Take a few minutes
put forth some effort
allow the tide to shift
and
quit striving to be perfect
Just Be
be all you can be
for it is enough
and
when one does this...

puts forth some effort...
become unafraid to shift, transform...change...if you will
then
we can sit down and sing..
that old song by Sam Cooke,

 I  was born by the river
In a little tent
And just like the river
I've been running ever since
He said its been a long time coming
But I know my change is gonna comeOh yeah 

Oh yeah...yes it will...
a change is gonna come...

Thankful for a moment to be....
just be...
for today..
that is enough
to cause my proverbial cup to overflow.

Have a great day..
blessings
and
hugs..

the radical rambler