Jerry: "Oh this is funny? I'm being funny?"
Jerry: "George is this funny?"
George: "It's funny! (to Elaine) and it wouldn't kill you to not be so funny either..."
Seinfeld, episode The Visa
It was a wonderful Sabbath of a Sunday. I got up early, let the dogs outside, fed them and had my usual cup of coffee. Big Daddy got up, read the paper and we looked at each other and almost at the same time had the same idea.....We headed back to bed!!!---for another nap. We ended up sleeping until after ten, which was fabulously divine. Later in the day, off color son came home from his friends house. While we were in the kitchen talking, I told him how lucky he was to have a sexy hot mama like me. He and Big Daddy stated that I was getting "cocky" about my sexy hotness.
On top of being so sexy hot, i told off color son, I also have really big muscles and could do an upside down hand stand against the wall and then do a push up. They really laughed at that one...but one of these days...when I'm not afraid of breaking my neck....I just might show them how sexy hot strong I am.
Off color daughter needed a ride to her study group....she started in early trying to make me take a shower and get dressed because she likes to be on time. We left the house about thirty minutes early and when we got to the coffee shop where her study group was meeting, she realized that she was the first on there and I suppose that must be some kind of study group faux pas---she said, "just park and wait for Becca to get here." I rolled my eyes and said, "how long will I have to wait?" She said, "twenty minutes or so...."
I think for a minute and then say, "Well I did want to stop down by the dog park and take a few pics of some stuff I saw there, how about we drive there and I'll jump out of the car and take my pics. It will just take a few minutes and then I'll drive you back." She didn't like the idea but I drove off anyway.
She sits in the car while i grab my camera and head down the path. The shot above was one of my finds today. The sun is shining and I'm getting in my mode and completely forget about "off color daughter" roasting in the car. After i take 45 shots, I hear someone yelling my name and I look up. There comes "off color daughter" heading toward me and steam is coming out her ears. "Now, you have made me late. Didn't you hear me yelling for you? I thought you said it would just take a minute."
I said, "it has just been a minute."
She screamed, "it has been twenty minutes and now I'm really late, come on and get in the car, NOW!
While we are driving, I try to make conversation with her.
I said, "just think, I can be a conversation piece with your friends, I bet they don't take pics and I bet their mom doesn't write a blog...."
She rolled her eyes and said, "No my friends have "normal" moms."
I say, "but at least I'm funny and sexy hot you know."
She looks at me and then proceeded to try to hurt my feelings....
"Your not funny and your blog is not funny either. It is weird....too full of "Jesus" Goddy talk about being all you can be....that is boring and way to deep---you should talk about me and how funny I am and say funny things like you met a "dumb ass guy and ....."
I laughed and said, "I am too funny...so funny...you just don't know what funny is...."
We arrive back at the coffee shop and off color daughter gets out of Big Daddy's car--we had to take that because she was embarrassed to ride in my ghetto Mobil of a van with liberal bumper stickers on the back panels. She runs off like she doesn't even know me---if I were her, I'd have asked my sexy hot funny mother to come on inside and have coffee with my friends.
Big Daddy and I finished the afternoon with another nap---what a restful, peaceful day.
The only "goddy" thing that happened was this:
Just as I was coming into the house, I noticed one of my little caterpillars was caught in a spider web inside the door frame. He was wiggling and struggling to get free...the spider had wrapped a strand around his butt, but he was hanging and moving and I suppose screaming in a Caterpillar kind of way.
I stood and watched.
I wondered if this was the circle of life kind of thing....
I mean the spider does have to eat.
I started to go inside but my heart started beating and I remembered the story a friend of mine told me a couple weeks ago.
She had been walking on a hot steamy day. She said she saw a large earthworm crawling across the sidewalk. She said that she had the impulse to pick it up and put it in the grass but instead stepped over it. On her return to home, she walked past the same place and looked down at the earthworm all shriveled up, dead on the hot sidewalk.
She said," i don't get it...that little earthworm has haunted me all weekend. I feel guilty that I thought about helping it and then didn't....isn't that crazy?"
I stood there gazing at the struggle and I couldn't leave him there hanging to become the next soupy meal for Mrs. Spider. I didn't need any "catepillar guilt."
I set down my purse and put my finger in the web and
loosened up the silk attached to his tail.
I helped it down to the concrete and watched it crawl hurriedly away.
I was watching and Big daddy came down the stairs and said,
"what are you doing there, just standing?"
I look at him and smile,
"saving a Caterpillar...look how happy he is!"
BIG DADDY JUST SMILED, shook his head and headed back upstairs!
Okay, so I'll admit it...
I may be a bit weird,
I may be "not so normal"
off color daughter and off color son...
you two are lucky children
such a strong, funny, sexy hot mama....
don't you forget it!!!!
one day I'll show you that I can do one of those
off the wall upside down push ups. I just don't want to show you up!!!
What do you mean, I'm not funny!
I'm really funny!
Have a wonderful Sunday Evening!
Hugs and Blessings,
sexy hot strong and funny
radical southern rambler.